It's been a minute.
Orientation fer DBU was simply amazing. There were so many foine white boys, I nearly lost my mind. Let's talk about how we had a worship service... during orientation! The fed us like royalty, and it's always nice to be on that gorgeous campus. I am so excited for school in the fall. Yes, Crystal Michelle Gomes is excited for school. Someone call CNN.
My efforts at not sitting in this house all summer have been a success thus far. I've been spending a lot of time with BFF Kylie, and I love it! Church every Sunday morning and Wednesday night, you know. My dad and I actually hung out on fathers day. That was new, and nice. Me and my mommy have even hung out a little. Whaaaaaat?
On Saturday I went to a girls conference at Dayspring Church with SBFF Kimbra. Let us note that this is a black church, and I regularly attend a predominantly white church. So basically, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN xD The theme was about shining, and their theme scripture was Matthew 5:16. It was pretty good, if I do say so myself. I especially enjoyed the little segment about purity (and each angle of it). They gave us super cute pink and white purity bracelets; one for us, and one for a friend (: OH, also, Kimbra started shouting after the classic "Everything" drama. It was only 25% funny, but it was 100% glorious. Bahahaha, I love her, and I hope she doesn't slide me for saying that.
Oh my goodness, church yesterday was so precious. The kids church put on a little patriotic performance and it made my heart smile. They closed it out with "Freedom" by Eddie James, and I totally wanted to get on stage and dance with them x] Then the whole congregation headed outside for a cookout. They gave away gift cards and an iPad. I received neither. All good though.
I spent time with Durdana today. She is the sweetest. I'm glad we're friends. Really <3
Dood, bro, son, Eric has begun the sermon series of a lifetime. He's throwing all types of holy knowledge regarding relationships all up in our faces. It's been a long time coming. Bless that man for the blessings he is certainly pouring out to we who are open and receptive to the truth. Glory, glory! I can't wait to hear the next one. Wednesday, c'mon widdit!
I just finished reading "Forgotten God." It's about the Holy Spirit. I'm pretty knowledgeable in that area, but one thing that stuck out to me the most was the idea that we ought not worry about "God's plan for our life." Instead, we should submit daily to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and watch how far that takes us. Francis Chan is a great writer, and I can't wait for his new book to be released next month.
I'm so tired of caring to be crapped on. I'm done loving to be let down. That's all it's ever seemed to be. So now my cares, and my all my love, are going into top secret confinement where no one will ever find them again. Someone strangle me the next time I consider busting them out. Curse these futile efforts of mine. This is a vicious cycle. I should have taken them seriously when they said that only one thing remains.
Let's close this out in prayer, that this might not end so morbidly. Ha. You ready?
"My life is not my own, to You I belong. I give myself away, so You can use me." But when you say it, you gotta mean it. I sure do. Grace, peace, and mercy be multiplied to you all <3
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
#takemeaway
God never moves quite the way we want Him to, does He? But aren't His ways simply perfect.
The other day God convicted me so hard. I'm really good about seeing past peoples sin and getting to the depths of what really matters. But my supervision deactivated so quickly and almost without guilt when it came to one person. And then I talked to that person. I talked to her on a personal level. I almost immediately had to dismiss all the "reasons" I thought I had for not letting the love of Christ show through me. And besides logically having to dismiss my presumptions, I no longer emotionally wanted to keep them. At the end of the day it doesn't make one bit of difference. What really counts is that there are people who are dying and going to hell everyday because we Christians make lists of what we deem important "reasons" not to love on someone.
I'm almost done reading a book called "Radical". I thought it would be a nice follow up to "Crazy Love". It is, but it's 100 times more grown up. It highlights biblical principals that are overlooked and covered up by the American dream. The American dream suggests that we are to individually climb the latter of success for our own individual benefit and glory. He mentioned that unfortunately, these ideas are entering the church. He magnifies our calling as followers of Christ to help the poor, and make disciples of all nations through international missionary trips. Here's a big one: God blesses us with more (material things) so that we may give more, not have more. Now, in my current state of being, I don't have the means to preach the gospel in Africa. I'm not financially independent. I don't have big decisions to make about what I have and what I give. But I think that solely acquiring the knowledge of these hidden truths has blessed my soul already.
The people who hurt you the most always realize exactly who they left in the dirt just in time for "too late". Apologies and regrets don't do a dang thing for me. And they aren't going to do anything for the guilty either. I wish people were more intelligent than that. And I hope the next person who is cursed to face their bad decisions knows better than to come back to me with any of it.
These mountains and valleys in my interpersonal relationships are getting out of hand. When the same issues come up, isn't it appropriate to let go? Which people are entitled to what privileges? And when is it okay to hold on to anyone, period? Because I can remember holding on for dear life. And then I remember finally letting go and trusting God to repair things on His time. But you know what He did instead? He helped me let go... almost to the sad point of indifference. And now its almost as if the tables have turned. But I'm not that person, no matter how badly I miraculously, all of a sudden, want to be. I won't be that person. But there are a few people who have proved themselves worthy of all of my love, and for that I couldn't be more thankful.
I have freshman orientation for DBU in the morning. I'm really anxious and terribly nervous, but at the same time, I'm at peace. I haven't left peaceful very often lately. I want to be afraid of the uncertainty in my future, because that seems normal. But then again, there isn't anything normal about the way my God loves and provides for me.
My spirit has been downing in what has to be the most anointed music ever recorded. Chris August, Sanctus Real, Kirk Franklin, and Sidewalk Prophets are doing great things. But there's a certain song by Worth Dying For that I can't get out of my system. It's called Take Me Away. "So let my heart trust in You, let my fear fall. Let Your carry me through it all. And I will hold on to You, even through pain. Won't You take me away, take me away with You." I sing that song, and I mean it. I cry for it. My soul longs for it.
This summer, all I want is to fall more deeply in love with our Lord, God, and Savior: Christ Jesus. And so it shall be.
The other day God convicted me so hard. I'm really good about seeing past peoples sin and getting to the depths of what really matters. But my supervision deactivated so quickly and almost without guilt when it came to one person. And then I talked to that person. I talked to her on a personal level. I almost immediately had to dismiss all the "reasons" I thought I had for not letting the love of Christ show through me. And besides logically having to dismiss my presumptions, I no longer emotionally wanted to keep them. At the end of the day it doesn't make one bit of difference. What really counts is that there are people who are dying and going to hell everyday because we Christians make lists of what we deem important "reasons" not to love on someone.
I'm almost done reading a book called "Radical". I thought it would be a nice follow up to "Crazy Love". It is, but it's 100 times more grown up. It highlights biblical principals that are overlooked and covered up by the American dream. The American dream suggests that we are to individually climb the latter of success for our own individual benefit and glory. He mentioned that unfortunately, these ideas are entering the church. He magnifies our calling as followers of Christ to help the poor, and make disciples of all nations through international missionary trips. Here's a big one: God blesses us with more (material things) so that we may give more, not have more. Now, in my current state of being, I don't have the means to preach the gospel in Africa. I'm not financially independent. I don't have big decisions to make about what I have and what I give. But I think that solely acquiring the knowledge of these hidden truths has blessed my soul already.
The people who hurt you the most always realize exactly who they left in the dirt just in time for "too late". Apologies and regrets don't do a dang thing for me. And they aren't going to do anything for the guilty either. I wish people were more intelligent than that. And I hope the next person who is cursed to face their bad decisions knows better than to come back to me with any of it.
These mountains and valleys in my interpersonal relationships are getting out of hand. When the same issues come up, isn't it appropriate to let go? Which people are entitled to what privileges? And when is it okay to hold on to anyone, period? Because I can remember holding on for dear life. And then I remember finally letting go and trusting God to repair things on His time. But you know what He did instead? He helped me let go... almost to the sad point of indifference. And now its almost as if the tables have turned. But I'm not that person, no matter how badly I miraculously, all of a sudden, want to be. I won't be that person. But there are a few people who have proved themselves worthy of all of my love, and for that I couldn't be more thankful.
I have freshman orientation for DBU in the morning. I'm really anxious and terribly nervous, but at the same time, I'm at peace. I haven't left peaceful very often lately. I want to be afraid of the uncertainty in my future, because that seems normal. But then again, there isn't anything normal about the way my God loves and provides for me.
My spirit has been downing in what has to be the most anointed music ever recorded. Chris August, Sanctus Real, Kirk Franklin, and Sidewalk Prophets are doing great things. But there's a certain song by Worth Dying For that I can't get out of my system. It's called Take Me Away. "So let my heart trust in You, let my fear fall. Let Your carry me through it all. And I will hold on to You, even through pain. Won't You take me away, take me away with You." I sing that song, and I mean it. I cry for it. My soul longs for it.
This summer, all I want is to fall more deeply in love with our Lord, God, and Savior: Christ Jesus. And so it shall be.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
#classof2011
So I graduated yesterday. This is crazy.
I got there entirely too early, because that's the foolery they told me, and I didn't know any better. Stephanie (salutatorian) mentioned me in her speech. She used the word "swaglicious" to describe our class. Only her, right? She quoted one of Mrs. D'spain's last words to our government class, and it was so meaningful. Jenny's speech was simply beautiful. She talked about the different definitions of the word "brilliance" and said that the definition she knew was most applicable to all of us was the ability to radiate/reflect light. She said she knew that, because we were crafted in the image of the source of light Himself. Then she whipped out some scripture, and man. I wanted to cry.
I was nervous as all get out walking across that stage. But then I got my little diploma holder and breathed the BIGGEST sigh of relief. I'm done with high school. My chains are gone, I've been set free! I didn't cry at graduation. I didn't care to stand outside The Potter's House and take pictures with people I might not see any time soon. Perhaps none of this has hit me yet. But perhaps I just know what I have to look forward to.
I celebrated by going to dinner with my parents at Pappadeaux. No, sillies, I didn't go to the club. I had church this morning.
Baccalaureate was a blessing. "Your life is only as big as your faith, and your faith is only as big as your God." How big is your God? Mine is the bigger than the air I breathe. Sky's not even the limit <3
The last few days of school were a blur, son. I swore I'd be drowning in tears, but not even. I only cried in government. I cried because Mrs. D'spain was throwing out some madd love. And then I looked at Jehwet and realized my time with him was probably coming to a close, because he is such a fricken floater. Like, he'll make college friends and it'll be like, "Crystal, who?" So I cried kinda hard and hugged him fer a kinda long time. I gotta say this. In these past few months of Christopher emerging with some intense flavor (xD) I've come to care for him a lot. And even though his flavor has worn out, I'm gonna miss that boy. I really am.
I have a lot to look forward to this week. This is all so exciting. This is short because I'm coming back tomorrow with the good stuff. I need to speak with my wife.
I got there entirely too early, because that's the foolery they told me, and I didn't know any better. Stephanie (salutatorian) mentioned me in her speech. She used the word "swaglicious" to describe our class. Only her, right? She quoted one of Mrs. D'spain's last words to our government class, and it was so meaningful. Jenny's speech was simply beautiful. She talked about the different definitions of the word "brilliance" and said that the definition she knew was most applicable to all of us was the ability to radiate/reflect light. She said she knew that, because we were crafted in the image of the source of light Himself. Then she whipped out some scripture, and man. I wanted to cry.
I was nervous as all get out walking across that stage. But then I got my little diploma holder and breathed the BIGGEST sigh of relief. I'm done with high school. My chains are gone, I've been set free! I didn't cry at graduation. I didn't care to stand outside The Potter's House and take pictures with people I might not see any time soon. Perhaps none of this has hit me yet. But perhaps I just know what I have to look forward to.
I celebrated by going to dinner with my parents at Pappadeaux. No, sillies, I didn't go to the club. I had church this morning.
Baccalaureate was a blessing. "Your life is only as big as your faith, and your faith is only as big as your God." How big is your God? Mine is the bigger than the air I breathe. Sky's not even the limit <3
The last few days of school were a blur, son. I swore I'd be drowning in tears, but not even. I only cried in government. I cried because Mrs. D'spain was throwing out some madd love. And then I looked at Jehwet and realized my time with him was probably coming to a close, because he is such a fricken floater. Like, he'll make college friends and it'll be like, "Crystal, who?" So I cried kinda hard and hugged him fer a kinda long time. I gotta say this. In these past few months of Christopher emerging with some intense flavor (xD) I've come to care for him a lot. And even though his flavor has worn out, I'm gonna miss that boy. I really am.
I have a lot to look forward to this week. This is all so exciting. This is short because I'm coming back tomorrow with the good stuff. I need to speak with my wife.
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