#takemeaway

God never moves quite the way we want Him to, does He? But aren't His ways simply perfect.

The other day God convicted me so hard. I'm really good about seeing past peoples sin and getting to the depths of what really matters. But my supervision deactivated so quickly and almost without guilt when it came to one person. And then I talked to that person. I talked to her on a personal level. I almost immediately had to dismiss all the "reasons" I thought I had for not letting the love of Christ show through me. And besides logically having to dismiss my presumptions, I no longer emotionally wanted to keep them. At the end of the day it doesn't make one bit of difference. What really counts is that there are people who are dying and going to hell everyday because we Christians make lists of what we deem important "reasons" not to love on someone.

I'm almost done reading a book called "Radical". I thought it would be a nice follow up to "Crazy Love". It is, but it's 100 times more grown up. It highlights biblical principals that are overlooked and covered up by the American dream. The American dream suggests that we are to individually climb the latter of success for our own individual benefit and glory. He mentioned that unfortunately, these ideas are entering the church. He magnifies our calling as followers of Christ to help the poor, and make disciples of all nations through international missionary trips. Here's a big one: God blesses us with more (material things) so that we may give more, not have more. Now, in my current state of being, I don't have the means to preach the gospel in Africa. I'm not financially independent. I don't have big decisions to make about what I have and what I give. But I think that solely acquiring the knowledge of these hidden truths has blessed my soul already.

The people who hurt you the most always realize exactly who they left in the dirt just in time for "too late". Apologies and regrets don't do a dang thing for me. And they aren't going to do anything for the guilty either. I wish people were more intelligent than that. And I hope the next person who is cursed to face their bad decisions knows better than to come back to me with any of it.

These mountains and valleys in my interpersonal relationships are getting out of hand. When the same issues come up, isn't it appropriate to let go? Which people are entitled to what privileges? And when is it okay to hold on to anyone, period? Because I can remember holding on for dear life. And then I remember finally letting go and trusting God to repair things on His time. But you know what He did instead? He helped me let go... almost to the sad point of indifference. And now its almost as if the tables have turned. But I'm not that person, no matter how badly I miraculously, all of a sudden, want to be. I won't be that person. But there are a few people who have proved themselves worthy of all of my love, and for that I couldn't be more thankful.

I have freshman orientation for DBU in the morning. I'm really anxious and terribly nervous, but at the same time, I'm at peace. I haven't left peaceful very often lately. I want to be afraid of the uncertainty in my future, because that seems normal. But then again, there isn't anything normal about the way my God loves and provides for me.

My spirit has been downing in what has to be the most anointed music ever recorded. Chris August, Sanctus Real, Kirk Franklin, and Sidewalk Prophets are doing great things. But there's a certain song by Worth Dying For that I can't get out of my system. It's called Take Me Away. "So let my heart trust in You, let my fear fall. Let Your carry me through it all. And I will hold on to You, even through pain. Won't You take me away, take me away with You." I sing that song, and I mean it. I cry for it. My soul longs for it.

This summer, all I want is to fall more deeply in love with our Lord, God, and Savior: Christ Jesus. And so it shall be.