Unmasked

This one's old. Its elementary because I wrote it in eighth grade; but this is how I felt. I wanted to post it because I remember what it's like to be so torn down that you feel you'll never get back up. I remember what it's like to feel so alone in a room full of "friends". I remember wanting to commit suicide. And dear, I want you to know that you will rise again. I am always here for you. You have so much potential that suicide would be robbing the world of greatness. And I love you, so much.

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All anyone can ever see is my artificial smile

and all anyone can ever hear are my stupid little lies--

amazing that no one can see the sadness in my eyes.

But what if you saw me unmasked?

What if you saw me yesterday

crouched behind the couch?

And what if you could be there tomorrow

to witness me mentally break down?

Then how much longer would you be around?

And for that I am stronger

in holding back each tear.

But today the mask will disappear

as the person beneath is revealed.

More often then not

I get a suicidal thought

or two-- or three--

Look at me!

Can you honestly not see

that I'm reducing into nothing?

Please do not be fooled by my act of happiness;

know it as a cover for my lack of happiness.

Listen to me recite

that "I'm fine", that "I'm alright"

and understand that I am not okay...

It's really hard to recall even a single day

that I sincerely was.

I have horribly low self esteem

but I make up for it by being mean.

I hear putting you down

might bring me up.

But at the end of the day I'm still ready to erupt.

No one cares about me

but I think I'm okay with that.

It's better for them that way

because more then likely I can't care back.

I've trained myself against the human race

because I know exactly what they do.

They lie, steal, cheat and everything else.

So, tell me that that isn't you.

An absolute misanthrope,

and sadly, there is no hope.

So now can you see past my semi-sweet smiles?

And now do you believe my lies?