#flipshair

LAWD, I am so irritated. Like heavily.

What's going on with some of the stuff I let myself get caught up in. What was I thinking with some of the lists I so very idiotically volunteered to write my cute little name on. Sometimes I wonder about myself, really. This isn't a bashfest, because I con't do that, but looking at my old self with my new self's brand new eyes is borderline blasphemy. No you know what, it's full-on blasphemy. None of that is anything like what God had planned for my life, and how dare I even allow myself to get there. And I'm so reminded of all of it every single day. Whats bad is that most of the reminiscence is by choice! Or at least it had been. From now on, I'm flipping my hair and keeping it moving. I'm done living in the past and hoping for a future that salvages the severed ends. Especially when I wasn't the one acting all big and bad with the scissors! I'm looking forward, and if you think I'm ever again looking back, you got me extra twisted. Holla if you feel me. IN THE NAME. Yes sir.

Oosahh.

But so I'm looking at the future, and I see so much potential. It's gorgeous when I put it all into prospective. In a little over a month I will be moving into a dorm with a girl I absolutely adore. School will start and I'll have the opportunity to be the student I always knew I could be, but never had the drive to be. There are going to be so many new people: new people who love the Lord Jesus Christ more than they love this world, more than they love all the things that tempt them, and more then they love themselves. That's hard to find anywhere, and suddenly I'm going to be submerged in those people. And with those people I can make new memories that cloud out the ones that still haunt me. There will be meaning to my life. I'm sure of it. I have an abundance to grow into, and you know what-- I'm ready. I'm finally ready to come alive as the woman of God He destined me to be.

That's always been what this is about. The ethnic anger I demonstrated earlier in this post stems from a basic knowledge that past circumstances have been hindering me from who I was called to be. As grand as it sounds to just leave everything behind, I know that is neither right, nor proper. But like I said, I'm reaching upward, forward, with all my might and whatever gets left behind wasn't meant to come with me anyway, right? Today, I must admit that I don't care.

I'm talking a bunch of crap now, but I know that if I ever start acting too brand new I'll end up face down on the floor of my youth room singing "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert, HA.

On a brighter note, I've been reading this book by A. W. Tozer called "Knowledge of the Holy". BRO, tell me why I chose to read it so late into the summer! That little book has soooo much wisdom in it. It's about the nature of God. He takes each characteristic that is evident in the bible and conveys them in ways that we might almost being to understand. Or maybe I should say "know". Because I know the majority of God's nature, but I can't say I understand all of it. I know that He is omnipresent, but to sit and try to understand that He is in all things, through all things, by all things, and that nothing exists apart from Him BLOWS MY MIND. I was sitting there staring at my ceiling fan trying to understand how God was a part of that. And then I felt my mind deteriorating so I had to walk away from the book, lol. There's so much more I wanna tell you guys, but I just suggest you read it. Best book evar.

Speaking of books, the ones I ordered last week finally shipped today. YESH. Pilgrims Progress, a Christian classic, and Erasing Hell, the third literary wonder by the great Francis Chan.

Eric Cole has been going hard at Wednesday night youth. We're talking about relationships. You can imagine, umm... the different opinions, on everything that's been said. But it's all been truth so peoples opinion don't particularly matter. If there's anyone I trust to learn about this kind of stuff from, it's definitely him. And in bible study, Chrystal Cole has been unveiling the mystery of Revelation to us. Relationships, and Revelation: it's getting deep, guys. I absolutely love it. I hope this is the new standard of go-hardness that will be delivered by those two lovely people from now on.

I will however say that as people's true colors start to show, I hope they remain bright and full of life (:

This has been a much needed and very productive update on the life of Crystal Michelle. But, you know. I'ma keep my head up, and y'all do the same. Grace, love, and mercy be multiplied to you a thousand times over <3