Mad

Shh! You will wake him!
And I cannot let him see
This dangerously deluded
Monster creeping, crawling out of me

So kick, fight, bite, and SCREAM
Anything by any mean…
[[A constant struggle to remain sane]]
Stealing every breath in possession of me
I’m doing whatever it takes to hide
What is so sure to be

And against every ounce of my hope
I lose it
And against every bit of my will
Its gone

I am furious
And just as curious
As to how I let it win.
I was so strong—
And for so long—
Where did the right turn wrong?

Laughs of anger
And yells of joy
Tears although I am numb
In fear of myself
And with all that I’ve done
The worst is still yet to come…

My frame has become so brittle, so weak;
I cannot find the strength to speak.
Choking on every breath that I breathe--
I am so cold.

And he is aware of the situation
And he has witnessed this terrible transformation
And he has come to the realization
That I am no good for him.