Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Ramp

On Sunday night I got back from a trip to "The Ramp" in Alabama with my youth group. I'm not sure what happened to me spiritually during those two and a half days, but something definitely happened. The sermons weren't quite what I needed to hear and I didn't get baptized, but I worshiped like I hadn't in a long time. By the time we'd got back, I felt really close to the youth who went, and especially to the Shaw family. Jeff, Denise, Amber, and Jairus are truly God-sent. They've seen the fire and they know how to help us bring it.

I didn't have a clear spiritual break through. I didn't get baptized in the Holy Spirit and start speaking in tongues. I think I'm still in the same place I was before I left; I'm ready to see Grace Pointe Church explode all over the metroplex in the name of Jesus. And even more, I'm ready to see myself explode all over anything I can. I know God didn't put me there for no reason, so maybe I wasn't there for myself. Maybe I was there for other people. And actually, I'm honored.

Me and Kylie were together on the car ride there and in we stayed in the same room. We built such a new and strong friendship, right when she needed it. I don't know how to explain this next part, but me and Alisha made up. On the last night there was a hug, tears, and apologies. Praise God. She is turning into such a wonderful person.

So now I'm back home and its like theres a constant wonder/worry about whats going to happen next. Are we going to be able to keep the drive for the fire? How are we going to keep that drive? I have absolute trust in God, and if theres anyone I believe in, its the people in F51. Maybe I'm wondering how I'm going to keep the drive... I don't know! I'm still trying to take in everything that happened over those two and a half days...

Something happened, thats fersure. Because the devil is attacking at all angles. I'm feeling slothful because I was so spiritually worn out, and I don't wanna pray or read my bible: but I'm doing it anyways. Satan is on his game trying to set our youth group against each other. Me and Magen got into it for the first time yesterday and that has never, ever, happened before. I recognized it right away but... goodness.

Last night I got thrown away like trash by someone I cared about. I didn't do anything, but I guess a girl he's been with for two months has more weight than me, even when I didn't do anything wrong. I was mad, and I cussed, and I cried. And then when I woke up this morning I decided I wouldn't ever let Satan break me down like that again, especially not behind a person.

"Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it." -Matthew 7:13-14

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