In June, I posted one of my poems called "Mad". I think I might have been casting bad omens over my life when I wrote that poem, because omgsh. The freaking poem has come to life.
In the poem, he's asleep, and she's trying to be quiet so that he wont wake up and see all of the bad things locked up inside her heart that come out in the middle of the night. And she's fighting her demons with everything she has, but they win. And she's hurt because she thought she'd gotten good at keeping them under wraps. And then her feelings become so misplaced, and she just starts to physically break down. Then to top it all off, right in the middle of such a glorious moment in her life, he wakes up...
How inconvenient, right?
"I cannot let him see this dangerously deluded monster creeping, crawling out of me." I know right! Because I'm telling you how bad its gonna get, and I'm urging you to just leave so you wont be subjected to such nonsense, but I don't wanna demonstrate. I wish you'd listen, so this wouldn't happen again.
"Kick, fight, bite, and SCREAM." Yo, I don't just let these things get inside my head. Although I'm thinking I should now, because it doesn't even matter anymore. You've already seen; I don't think theres much left thats worth fighting to hide.
"In fear of myself, and with all that I've done, the worst is still yet to come..." Look. I've felt systematically beaten down by everyone that was supposed to build me up since I was old enough to know that I needed to be loved. "What happened?" Nothing happened: life happened. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction; and unfortunately their actions have triggered certain reactions. I would have been fine if you didn't make me give away my swagg, like I didn't need it or something. Since all I have now is raw emotion, I'm sure its all downhill from here. Do yourself a favor. I'll be okay, and you'll be even better.
The last two lines say: "And he has come to the realization that I am no good for him." Whats the hold up, bae?
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