#screamlouder

Taking Back Sunday and Mayday Parade before school this morning. I woke up in that kind of mood. And then I put on a shirt that says "we will be the hopeful", lmao. I slept GOOD last night, weird right?

My last Christmas concert was tonight. OMGSH I SAW SPENCER. And I saw Andy :] SO glad that crap is over, though. We sounded like garbage, but jazz band and wind symphony made me proud! I really do love music, but somehow band is still the darkest part of my life, and that's saying a lot. We get to turn in our uniforms tomorrow. Yes, please, take that nonsense away from me.

I have epic news. I'm not going to Winterfest this year, and I didn't even cry about it (almost). My acadec competition is on the same days. The interesting part is that it didn't cross my mind to not go to the competition. It's like I was on auto-unselfish mode. I didn't even think I had an unselfish mode, much less an automatic one. "Mehmeh, but Winterfest will help..." YEA, hush. God is the same those two days as He always has been and will be. But who's gonna make sure Jacob pays attention?! It's kay; this just confirms the fact that MACDEC 2010 IS GOING TO STATE: cuz if I'm missing Winterfest for them, we better.

Omgsh, guys. Advanced Health was soooo funny today. Huda was filling in for someone, playing the mean girl. And so she said her line, something about Jason being a loser, and some brilliant kid goes "LOOK WHO'S TALKING!" PAHAHAHAHA. That was too funny fer real life. That poor child got in so much trouble, though.

I completely started crying in the hallway before fifth period on the way to make up a test. And after I finished my test, I got another "You aren't yourself," from Mrs. Harper. She asked what was wrong and I cried (again -_-) and told her I just needed a cry day and that I don't even know why I came to school. She's the sweetest thing ever. She gave me a hug and told me I could talk to her whenever. Thaaat made my heart warm. <3

I'm in a rather cynical mood, it seems. I can imagine that won't be very good for the conversation I'm about to have. It's two down, tomorrow, and however many to go. *Insert a bunch of stuff I wish I could discuss on here*

Love is like fire. It takes everything, whether you're ready or not. It's dangerous, and hurtful. You have to be careful, but no one ever is. It spreads faster than you want it to... and then it burns out. None of it is fair.

College, college, college.